i'm signing you up for texting rehab
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
