look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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