from now on my penis is your penis
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
