I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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