Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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