My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
