bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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