i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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