No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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