Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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