Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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