at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
