i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
