just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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