I'm eating all of the evidence.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
