Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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