hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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