What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
