Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
