R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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