I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
