the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
