you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
