You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
