Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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