I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
