I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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