Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
