I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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