We should be called the Road Head Warriors
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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