So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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