i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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