your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
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I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
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It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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