Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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