I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
