There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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