gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
