I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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