marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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