he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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