Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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