Is it normal to miss your booty call?
she smelled like a LAN party
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
