She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
