I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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