garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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