I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize