sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
