she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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