I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
cat food counts as protein by the way
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
