Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
