she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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