how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
