It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
