Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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