Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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