i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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