Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
