I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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