I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
