we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
