I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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